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[17 Jan 2005|01:12pm]

[ mood | ticked off, yo! ]

Okay, so this is the most embarrassing thing ever,but I can't get my laptop to open. It's, um, stuck?

Anyway, I'm in the process of trying to remember everything I wrote and write it on the home computer instead, but I didn't want to make erb_ late with her keywords.

So, erb_'s next five keywords are: someone other than Neville keeping an organic garden, a muggle bicycle, an annoying voice, Ron as a main character, and dusty records.

Ugh. So sorry guys! Not very on for a first post, I know! But I shall stay up all night if I must to get this thing re-typed!

3 comments|post comment

[08 Jan 2005|01:33pm]

Keywords: Ron's Yule ball robes (hurrah GOF pics!), Crookshanks in a major role, gold ink, frilly little tooth picks, and a scientific formula for the art of Transfiguration.

My apologies for being a bit late: just pretend I live somewhere where it's still Friday. *shuffles feet* It's also a little short, so, to be fair, my next story'll be longer and actually submitted on time, promise!

PG-13, for implication.
Beware the AU.

They’ve been normal for 357 days.Collapse )

devkel's next five keywords: Cats with wings, Sophocles, contraceptives, a german dictionary and grass skirts.
21 comments|post comment

Twenty-nine: Boys Soldier On [11 Dec 2004|02:17am]

Keywords: the many moods of Hedwig, tea cosies, in-laws of some sort, the phrase "painfully muggle", and crackers in bed.

Watch with a complete lack of surprise as I admit to completely forgetting one of the keywords (in-laws). I'll include it in the next fic I do here, just to be fair.

This was originally supposed to be a sequel of sorts to "Sudsy", but ended up an unstructered character piece on dealing with redundancy and parents.

1,444 words.
PG-13, but only just.

Because this is usually the part where you wax rubbish and then I snog you to shut you up and you act all offended and straight, but always end up sucking me off in the tub.Collapse )
spectacular's next five keywords: "The Triumph of Bullshit" by T.S. Eliot, lamentations, pianos playing a fairly major part, lacy underthings, and a broken nose.
5 comments|post comment

(x-posted in my own lj) [10 Dec 2004|10:23pm]


Attention all zhficrelay watchers:

1) If you're going to submit a fic, please do so soon. They're due Wednesday & if no one applies then the relay's going to have to go on hiatus until we both finish our Christmas fics.

2) Kayleigh & I somehow branched off into a very deep discussion on abortion, religion, soul mates, and the three basic principles of life from the base conversation of teasing each other with bits of our relay fics (that's right! you guys get two for one this time!), so our fics will probably be late. They're always late, but I mean like... okay I guess MINE will be later than normal probably.

That is all, good fellows.
Oh, and I'll probably delete or private this entry once our fics are up, so if you have anything very important to say I'd suggest not doing it in this entry's comments. ;)

post comment

Twenty-seven: A Day In The Life Of A Fool [27 Nov 2004|02:48am]

keywords: Three separate Frank Sinatra song titles somehow worked into the fic, Herbology, a flickering light bulb, stained glass fragments, and an exceedingly unusual profession.

I have no excuses for this being so late.
I weep at your feet.

Also, this is a dabbling into a jazzish AU I'm working on, so it's in that universe. You can decide whether or not they're wizards. It's not stated here. But yeeaaahh. It's an AU. FYI. Also, if you know what song Mr Pete originally comes from I will totally marry you on the spot.

1,400ish words
PG-13 / R - language, general content

The title is also a Sinatra song.

Up until being humped by his bitch, Harry hadn’t a clue as to what Zacharias Smith—the man who made rich brats into rich legends (and then stole all their clams; possibly a fuck from their wives)—would be like. He’d imagined, of course.Collapse )

spectacular's next five keywords are: fake hair, half-awake conversations, a tycoon at something unusual, vocal warm ups, and twenty-five eyes.
2 comments|post comment

Twenty-five: Jackknife [13 Nov 2004|01:05am]

keywords: mobsters, Draco Malfoy as a McGuffin, Cho/Pansy, aleatory, and causerie.

Ahaha okay first thing? This is probably the worst I've ever been at sticking to the keywords. They're all there, just... not explored much.

And finally, I know this has plotholes. Like the whole Malfoy thing, for one. To clear it up before you all ask, this is a bit of a parody on the ZACHARIAS IS EXACTLY LIKE DRACO! ideal. So basically Zacharias goes away for a week, Draco temps for him, and when Zacharias comes back everyone still thinks it's Draco. Got it? I'd wanted to explore that plotline more but, as you can see, I was running VERY late with this.

R for language and the insinuated.
About 2,200 words.

I knew you’d end up gay and with bad taste; anyone could’ve seen that coming... but Malfoy? You should’ve just had a twenty pound whore. Or even a dog would’ve been better.Collapse )

spectacular's next five keywords: something orange, something French (that isn't Pansy), a farm, the dating habits of women, and rent of some form.
6 comments|post comment

OH YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS. [10 Nov 2004|04:57pm]


Okay! I swear this is the last time I'm going to push in here and mouth off about things that contain no fiction at all. For a while, anyway. ;)

Because spectacular and I have our reasons--and I'm pretty sure they're reasons just like the ones we've blahblahblahed at you many times before--we're going to open up the community to TWO new writers.

Interested? (please?)
There's really only one requirement: you MUST be able to write something, something of some quality, every FOUR weeks. That's about once a month. And you'll also have to be able to converse with the other authors about keywords for the person writing that week. (That sounds confusing, but if we choose you, I'll have Kayleigh explain it better.) And really, that's not asking too much.

And so, to be fair, we're holding a little contest. Following are three sets of keywords. Pick one set. Write something Z/Hish with the keywords. Be creative. Don't be shy. E-mail your fic to: zhficrelay@gmail.com. Please don't forget to include you LJ handle somewhere in the entry.

LJ Handle:
Summary: (optional)
A/N (optional)

But seriously? When I say be creative, I mean it. Remix our fics, include weird POVs, have other pairings (as long as the Z/H is the focus.), whatever. We trust you all. And the fics will only be viewed by Kayleigh and I (unless you choose to post them elsewhere, and you are MORE than welcome to do so), so don't be shy, either.

The deadline is DECEMBER 8TH. That's about the time you'll have if you were a regular writer.

Just in case none of the above made sense:

  • We're looking for two new writers.

  • You must be able to write something every 4 weeks.

  • You must be able to come up with keywords.

  • Pick a set of keywords.

  • Write a fic, ficlet, anything.

  • E-mail it to us. (zhficrelay@gmail.com)

  • Sit on the edge of your seats in sweaty anticipation.

  • Have it all in by DECEMBER 8TH.

  • We l♥ve you! HAVE FUN!

  • All our keywords are belong to you.Collapse )
    6 comments|post comment

    Twenty-three: Wonderfully, Wonderfully, Wonderfully, Wonderfully Pretty [30 Oct 2004|11:59pm]

    keywords: The line “I’ll stay awake for you, if you can stay awake for me,” a wealth of post-it notes with messages on them, stairways, Zacharias as an Auror but not Harry, and real, actual love.

    Okay so, you know how near all beach fic is a bunch of artsy, pretentious hullabaloo? Well, I wanted to try and see if I could write beach fic and make it NOT artsy, pretentious hullabaloo. I started listening to Sigur Ros near the end, though, so it does get a bit "symbolic" if you can even call it that. But yes, I think I've done well. Okay so I basically just poked fun at it (SEE: the cheese danish post-it conversation). Point?

    Plus there are pictures! OOH SHINY.

    (Anyone who can name the two people who covered the song this title comes from AND where they performed it--WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP--is pretty darn cool, and will maybe get a drabble or something.)

    PG, at most.
    About 2,000 words.
    ALSO: Harry has the small, all caps handwriting. Zacharias has the big girly kind. Just to clarify.

    The milk is curdled. Like a zombie brain.Collapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords: something thrumming, the pale light of dawn, something intangible being stolen, beer, and some hubbub.
    11 comments|post comment

    admin note. :) [29 Oct 2004|10:08pm]


    Hey all! ♥!
    This is just a quick note to let you all know that my relay fic will NOT be posted tonight, as it is my 18th birthday today and I've been busy celebrating. \:D/

    But it will be posted tomorrow evening at the latest. The fic itself IS written, but I need to go in and revise and shine it up and add a few special touches, none of which I'll be able to finish tonight.

    So anyway, I'm real sorry we're always delaying things, but... well... time, you know? We'll be doing some behind the scenes work around here fairly shortly and hopefully that'll help make things better all around.

    Love you all. Thanks again for keeping this community alive! <333

    9 comments|post comment

    Twenty-one: The Ballad Of Big Nothing [16 Oct 2004|12:41am]

    Keywords: Focus on a photo album, the colour red, Pansy Parkinson in a major role, dawn, one hundred first kisses.

    The title is from a song by Elliott Smith (I added the "The"). This is late, I'm sorry. I blame randomly visiting relatives. Contains a hint of Neville/Pansy, on request. Cait: everything else I said would be in it did not make it in. I'll be keeping all those things in mind for future fics.

    Also, I set out to write smut, but it appears I don't know what I want. How annoying.

    Hard R for smutty moments and language.
    About 1,800 words.

    It’s all a matter of breaking points and where to find themCollapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords: a black dog, redundancy, someone transfixed by steam rising out of a mug, your favourite season, and a tornado.
    12 comments|post comment

    Nineteen: The Beautiful Comes Later [05 Oct 2004|11:59pm]

    Keywords: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a bride or groom but not a wedding.

    This is a REMIX of spectacular's Spider's Web, which means that YES you should read that first, but NO you don't have to. If you don't know what a remix is, it's where one author takes another author's story and either tells it from a different point of view or changes the ending or whatever. I chose to tell her story from a different point of view and I included a few of her lines of dialogue near the end.

    And it's very... train of thought-ish. That's a slight warning, and you'll get what I mean when you read it.

    PG-13, again, for language and a couple sexual mentionings.
    About 1,600 words.

    Zacharias wiggles, obscene, underneath Harry’s arched fingers.Collapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords are: a theme of gold, drums, a mirror, a tongue piercing, and an epic contradiction
    16 comments|post comment

    IMPORTANT. PLEASE READ. [05 Oct 2004|07:05pm]


    Hate to start out on a bad note, but unfortunately there is going to be a change in the way things go down around here. Since most of you are regular writers yourself, you all know how much time and effort goes into writing a fic. And while you also probably know how much fun it can be and how much gratification you get out of a finished piece of work, there are important things to keep in mind. While both spectacular and I would love nothing more than to spend all day simply writing, that's not possible for either of us.

    spectacular & I both are coming into fall with much tighter schedules and cannot keep up writing 3-day fics. We've been losing sleep trying to get them in on time and, as you can see, we've barely made the deadline 3/4ths of the time. SO, we've had to change the structure of things slightly:

    There will now be a ONE WEEK deadline for each fic.

    We've set the fic day to Friday, for no other reason than it was the first day that came to mind. My current fic will still be posted tonight and spectacular will have 3-days to do her next fic, solely because the old due date would land her on Friday, and that's surprisingly convenient.

    So that's what's happening. Feel free to leave a comment if you're confused or upset or even if you just want to tell us what you had for dinner. We love comments. As always, anonymous comments are welcome.

    ALSO! spectacular and I have been talking regarding the recent surge of watchers (HELLO ALL! Introduce yourselves! We're curious how you've found us.) and I would advise you all to keep an eye out for a special update in this community in the next couple of days. ;)

    14 comments|post comment

    Seventeen: Petrichor [29 Sep 2004|11:05pm]


    Keywords: Water rings on a newspaper, a pair of very grubby sneakers, petrichor, this tee, this time.

    So you all know, this is not only ON TIME, but it was finished YESTERDAY. You long time watchers should be gasping right now, as I'm pretty sure this has never happened before. Anyhow, today was spent revising and picking apart my very life changing the ending hundreds of times. I wish I were kidding.

    For those of you who don't have spectacular around to look up the hard words for you, petrichor is the smell you smell after it rains when it hasn't rained for a long while.

    PG-13, because I really love the word "fuck" too fucking much.
    About 2,500 words.

    We're pretty much alone then, aren't we?Collapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords (sorry they're a bit long this time around): Christmas, charts and graphs (must be more than a passing mention), a compare and/or contrast of the difference in the interactions between Gryffindor boys and the interactions between Hufflepuff boys, dirty jokes, and the following lyrics: Would you please get out from under my skin? / For I can’t begin this yet / And I don’t know where my intentions are, they’re speaking in a different tongue / And deep inside I’m not as tough as I seem / But I won’t let you know [under my skin – Rachael Yamagata] (don’t listen to the song, just take what you can from these few lines)

    9 comments|post comment

    Fifteen: This Is That New Thing [23 Sep 2004|01:27am]

    keywords: Inspiration drawn from the song "Midnight Show" by The Killers, a theme of jealousy, an underappreciated female character we haven't already used, one of the characters having a thing for ties, the perfect crime.

    This is embarassingly late. *blush*
    But it's also roughly 3,000 words, so hopefully that makes up for it.
    And it's happy.
    THERE. ARE. NO. DRUGS. I know, I know. Step back. You mean Lani isn't a bitter, drug-crazed psycho with hypnoswirl eyes and butcher knives for hands? NO. Surprise! ;D
    (Although can you imagine trying to type with butcher knife hands? Agh!)

    LIGHT PG-13 for language and wee bit of girl on girl.
    Title modified from the song "This Is That New Song" by Badly Drawn Boy.

    He isn't even masturbating.Collapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords: Hufflepuff flags, Draco Malfoy playing a supporting role, an oil lamp, buckets full of something (I'll leave that part up to you), and a flood.
    16 comments|post comment

    Thirteen: Mile End Motel [13 Sep 2004|12:33am]

    keywords: Wire hangers, eyeliner on boys (it had to happen eventually), a shitty motel, Chinese takeaway and Cho Chang (not a passing mention, but an actual part of the plot in some way).

    this is 33 minutes late, and for that i apologize.
    but it also contains one-eyed pimps and soy sauce used in a new and interesting way. for that i will never apologize.
    oddly inspired by "Judy Is A Punk" by The Ramones and "Nightclubbing" by Iggy Pop. and when i say inspired i mean you'll never be able to connect the two to the story, but they provided great atmosphere in my head.

    this is an AU. meaning they're Muggles.
    this is also as R as it can be without being NC-17.
    there are mentions of het, blatant drug use, insinuated alcoholism, violence, horrible language, and small doses of smut. enjoy! :D

    Jesus said that, didn’t he?Collapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords: i'm going to send you an e-mail & the first keyword will be in it (but it's more like a key paragraph), they must still be in Hogwarts, Colin's camera being used for naughty things, a "Potter Stinks!" badge, and Quidditch tryouts.
    32 comments|post comment

    Eleven: The Nose Knows [06 Sep 2004|10:59pm]

    keywords: the passing mention of someone (female!!!) having a child or being pregnant, postcards from Harry to Zacharias or vice versa, a very old car in the process of falling apart, the mocking of great literary figures, smoking that is not in any way portrayed as sexy or arousing--be realistic about it.

    first off, thank you all so much for your comments on this entry. and feel free to make more, if you haven't already.

    secondly, i really coudn't think up of a title for this. if you can think of anything, please tell me. if not, i'm sticking with "untitled & smelly" (not because it stinks, because it's about smells.) ;)
    title found. :P

    about 1,700 words and officially the longest thing i've ever written. wrote? agh, i'm on cold medication right now. i'm going to use that as my excuse for the comma abusage in this, because i'm pretty sure i've finally crossed over that line with this one.

    this isn't so much harry/zacharias as it is about harry and, oh yeah, zacharias is there too, i guess. rated pg-13 for language and mentions of sex, and a warning for passing mentions of het.

    He’s taken up life as a Muggle.Collapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords: Harry's dormmates, a sunset, something warm that shouldn't be, a rickety fence, and a watermelon seed spitting competition.
    19 comments|post comment

    checking in :) [05 Sep 2004|08:32pm]

    [ mood | curious ]

    Disclaimer: This entry was not "caused by" anyone except for my own curiosities, and the sudden rush of new members (YAY! and hello to you!). When I say "we", I'm speaking for both spectacular & myself. I'm not psychotic or anything. ;)

    First of all, I speak for both spectacular & I when I say THANK YOU to everyone who's been commenting in and about this community. This was a complete pick-up project; there were no weeks of planning or anything going into it, and we owe you all SO MUCH for making it as successful as it has been. :) I'm speaking for myself, here (but I'm sure spectacular agrees with me), but this community has kept me sharp and in shape as a writer. It's helped boost my confidence and really just keep me in tune with things I need to work on and things I'm good at. And it's all thanks to you guys, the watchers. Most, if not all, of you are friends of Kayleigh or of me--or both! so you know how much we love you, but just in case... <33333 THANK YOU. :)

    Now, here's the point of everything: we would like to know your thoughts on the community. We, as the writers, know how WE feel about it, but we'd like to know what YOU feel about it, and WHY.

    Anonymous comments are allowed, and encouraged, although definitely not required. I'm pretty sure IP logging is off, but even if it isn't, I really don't think either of us are going to want to spend the time looking up who you are. ;P

    The only thing we ask is that you not use this as an opportunity to bash either spectacular or I. If you hate my writing, and are only here for her, that's perfectly fine, but tell it to me privately or in my own journal (and vice versa). We're doing this purely for constructive reasons, not to bring anyone down.

    So... things you like? Things you dislike? Kinds of writing you'd like to see more of? Less of? Anything?

    <3 lani & kayleigh

    11 comments|post comment

    Nine: Needle In The Hay [31 Aug 2004|10:50pm]

    keywords: A problem committing to something other than relationships, antiques, breakfast on Sunday mornings, Susan Bones, a mention of the Buckbeak versus Draco incident in third-year.

    this is more a collection of oddly connected moments than anything else. there's plot, if you stretch it, but i happen to like things that're written this way. so we'll see if you all do, too. :)
    this also went through a lot of changes, many more changes than anything i've ever written. at its height, it was twelve pages long. now it's about 3 and 1/2.

    i also sort of skimped on the antiques. sorry 'bout that, winston. ;)

    roughly 1,000 words.
    PG (surprisingly)
    title from the song by elliott smith, "needle in the hay" (download it)

    Her toe didn’t fall off, did it?Collapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords: "I just swallowed a bug.", gagging (which cannot have anything to do with the bug swallowing AT ALL), the scummiest shower in the Hufflepuff bathroom, cleaning a mess with pages ripped from a book, and it must be rated AT LEAST R.
    19 comments|post comment

    Seven: For a Taste of S(k)in [25 Aug 2004|11:31pm]

    Keywords: a difference in politics, an epic battle (can be taken as sarcastically or not), a thing for Ravenclaws, weekends in Hogsmeade, a mention of Mrs. Norris.

    this is not happy at all, i'm afraid. i was completely plotless until about three hours ago, when five different bunnies hit me all at once. this was the only one i could manage to get out how i liked it, and i have to warn you: it's not easy. it's weird, and it's written in a somewhat experimental style. it also contains argus filch in very embarassing way.

    although, true to form, it does showcase a bit of my tie kink. :9

    a little over 500 words.
    r for sex & oddness factor.

    There’s something about the way Harry’s fingertips curl into the flaps on the underside of Zacharias’ tie.Collapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords: someone must be playing the piano the entire time, a joke(s) about weight, money, someone must be shirtless, and a camel
    8 comments|post comment

    Five: Hunger Slave [19 Aug 2004|11:40pm]

    keywords: a bad habit, Pansy Parkinson, something blue, failed attempts at cooking, "I am a GENIUS!"

    drug!fic. about 800 words. i started this with an actual, happy plotline in mind, but my fingers seemed to have thought differently by the end. done at the last possible minute, but i'm actually quite proud of this one.

    pg-13 ish, for drug use, obviously.

    “Cho Chang. She may cry when she kisses you, but I bet she screams real nice for a strong cock.”Collapse )

    spectacular's next five keywords: childhood fears, washing clothes, a plane crash, salt, "I'm not going anywhere."

    oh, and kids? don't do drugs, yeah? :)
    18 comments|post comment

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